I'm frustrated, I'm venting.

These past few days have been weird. I haven't done much with my girlfriend. Whenever we do have the time, she becomes tired, so I let her off to sleep.

Today I just wanted do something sexual, not over the top though because she's still on her period. As I try to turn her on, it does not work. I immediately become turned off myself. Then she tries to go and turn me on, but I'm no longer in the mood. She becomes a bit frustrated and starts to complain. What am I suppose to do? She tells me I don't have to kiss her to turn her on, I know that shit! but when I tried to do anything else she wouldn't let me. A few minutes later she falls asleep, and wakes up again. Errrr, I don't know. I still like her though.

I'm in a reminiscent mood

It sucks.

I miss my best friend, I miss my family and I miss my girlfriend. :(

I don't even know what to call this.

I feel like the hardest thing I've ever done in my life is maintaining this relationship with my girlfriend Lauren.

If you don't have the maturity or patience for a long distance relationship, then don't do it. It has its' ups and downs. I'm not going back down from this though, I'm not that type of guy to run away from serious situations.

I just need to burn off some steam. There are somethings that Lauren does, which she doesn't notice she's doing, that annoys me. I can't change those things because then I would be a hypocrite, because there are actions that I do that annoy her.

Writing them down will make me feel better.

Like yesterday, I get on like around 12am just to see if Lauren is on so I could talk to her for a few minutes. We end up, talking until 1:40ish, I wanted to go to sleep, because I was getting tired but she wanted me to stay up. Yea I know me and her haven't been talking as much as we used, but she needs to get used to it! There will be times where we will not talking for a day or two because of our busy schedules.

Another thing is her need for constant reassurance, but I think that comes with every long distance relationship.

Ahhh, I'm done.

Long distance sucks.

There are so many physical and emotional limitations.

Sometimes I wonder if I can make it with my girlfriend. We don't go to the same school. I just have my moments where I like and miss her alot or I don't miss her at all.

I like being independent, but I'm start to feel like I'm depending on her too much to be happy. I don't know if I want to talk to her tonight, I currently have no desire to, maybe it'll change?

Hey hey hey.

I better find your lovin', I better find your heart. Soooooo I'm still getting use to the whole girlfriend thing. I really do miss Lauren. I want this relationship to work out, I want to be a better boyfriend, I think I'm up for that challenge.

Oh shit, it just got intense in hurrrr.

Kissin' and some tongue action went on from 2:40am to 4:40am.

My pelvic area feels soooo worked out. It didn't bother me that my girlfriend was on top for most of it. There was one point where we were just going up and down. She seems to love my kisses. I guess I picked up really fast.

By the way, sporadic lip biting went on.

We managed to refrain ourselves from having sex, thank goodness. I need to take this slowly.

I'm really tired so I'm gonna go to sleep.

8/23/10

is the day Lauren became my girlfriend.

I like her a lot and I hope it can last.

She is my first.

I literally cried tonight.

I cried the first time in months.

My dad made me feel like shit.

I do not want to be here anymore.

Being in this place makes me lazy.

My parents bitch about me being lazy.

My brother and sister attack me for being lazy.

I need to move out or at least go to Buffalo,

it would give me something to do.

I don't look forward to my return in December.

What makes it worse is that my dad thinks I do nothing, literally nothing but sit on my ass and use my laptop all the time. He thinks my writing is a joke too.

I feel like shit, it's even hard for me to write this right now.

He made me feel like I'm the only one who asks for money frequently.

He just kept on pounding and pounding me.

There are moments.....

where you'll feel left out.

There are others where you'll feel jealousy.

At times, distance forms.

You might feel angry, you might feel abandoned.

People exaggerate these feelings, these moments.

In return, fights occur.

Everyone and anyone has experienced this, even the greatest of people,

but it does not mean you have to ignore or push someone out of your life.

500 Days of Bummer?

I love 500 Days of Summer.

It somewhat makes you wanna hate girls.

The movie is basically about a guy (Tom) who falls for his first love (Summer).

It switches from Day 1 to a different day.

Going back and forth, showing the different sides of Summer and Tom's relationship.

They break up at one point and everything goes wrong for Tom.

At the end he has a moment of realization; he can fall in love again.

He decides to pursue a career in architecture.

He meets up with Summer, they decide to make up and put some issues to rest.

Tom meets Autumn. :)

Whenever someone gets their heart broken for the first time, they tend to exaggerate things. It basically consumes them for a certain amount of time, it certainly depends how you deal with it.

I know I haven't experienced this yet, and someday it's going to happen to me, I just hope I don't lose sight of love.

I love this quote from the movie:

Narrator: "If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... Tom had finally learned, there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now."

All the crazy shit...... that I wanna do.

I'm tired of being home.

I want my freedom back.

I'm tired of the bickering and the bitching.

I'm tired of complaining about it.

I wanna go somewhere and do something.

I'll drink, maybe even smoke a blunt.

I'm tired of women hating men

and men hating women.

I may not get what happened

but after awhile c'mon you're gonna let someone get to you?

Oh by the way, I've been playing Memories by David Guetta.

I have that shit on replay.

Kid Cudi, I fucking love you.

I'm A Man Therefore I Fuck.

Blog! Vlog. I'm gonna restart it. I need to get back into the habit in practicing my writing and communication skills.

Other than I've come to talk about my manly ways on here. People are always questioning my sexuality. I guess I'm too clean for a straight guy or the simple face that I've been single all my life. Yessss! I'm the 18 soon to be 19 year old holy virgin!

I'm not really interested in anyone right now. But I do find many of my female friends attractive, also the ones in lower Manhattan. Gosh they're so pretty.

Holy Shit

I've returned. It's been awhile. Don't worry Jennifer. You'll see more of my blogs.